Tag Archives: hillbilly

Us White Trash Like Cigarette Butts in our Cupcakes

3 Aug

Since my last post, I had a birthday. I turned 29 on 1 August, which both my boyfriend and my uncle pointed out to me was actually my THIRTIETH year.

Thanks guys.

So, we had a White Trash/Hillybilly party to celebrate. Costume, mandatory. The cooks amongst us also brought food, though I dare say it was a bit posh for the theme (no one could bare to eat hotdogs and Kraft Dinner).

We had roast pork belly, quesadillas, guac, fully-loaded nachos, fried chicken, and some salad and carrot sticks just to make us feel less guilty. My contribution was the dessert: Cigarette Butt Cupcakes, behold –

mmmm, chocolate carcinagy goodness...

I came up with the idea on my own, and I’m quite pleased with how they turned out! I used my favourite chocolate cupcake recipe from Chockylit with a cream cheese vanilla frosting. The ‘ash’ is made of crushed up Oreos mixed with icing sugar, and the ‘butt’ is dyed shortbread, which I rolled into butt-size pieces and coated in sesame seeds before baking. Once they came out of the oven and cooled, I dipped them in melted white chocolate and then into the ash.

Voila!

cough, drool, cough

These were taken on my iPhone, hence the blur, but you get the point.

I also wanted to have Twister at the party, but balked at the EUR 30 price tag at the toy store, so decided to make one myself using felt and some spare muslin I had in my fabric stash. It worked a treat!

That's how we do it in the South, ya'll

For my costume, I went with jean shorts, a white ribbed tank, knee-high sports socks, old grungy runners with the laces + tongue pulled out, a fake ‘tramp stamp’ tribal tattoo (on my lower back of course), a gold-cap on my front tooth, and horrendous make-up.

Call me Brenda Lee:

Brenda Lee shows off her tramp stamp

So we partied hard to the tunes of G’n’R, Billy Rae Cyrus, Scorpion, Twister Sister, Bon Jovi and other hits from the deep south (and the 80s).

we know how to party

Aren’t we PERDY?

A whole lotta brother-cousins and sister-mothers

And here’s me with my man, Delray:

we's gunna have some perdy chirruns

It was a fantastic party. A HUGE thanks to co-birthday girl Sookie/Nikki and Earl/Aidan for letting us throw down at her sweet pad. And also thanks to all my really sweet friends that accompanied me in my 8-hour vodka birthday odyssey.

I got some awesome gifts too. My man Delray got me a 60-minute massage voucher, a gift certificate for a cake decorating course, a cake decorating book, and a cupcake recipe book. I also got a great kitsch tray and a magnetic dress-up Michelle Obama set and a gift certificate for a cool cake decorating shop from my lovely colleagues.

Is this how I’ll sleep in my 30s?
So, I track my sleeping patterns using an iPhone app called Sleep Cycle. Here’s a typical night’s sleep:

How I slept at 28

And here’s how I slept my first night as 29:

practically dead

A sign of things to come? When I”m 40, will I have to sleep with a heart rate monitor just to make sure I’m still breathing? IS THIS MY FUTURE?

(gulp)

Four Push-Ups

28 Jul

I suck at push-ups. When I was going to pilates 3 times a week a few years ago, I could do 10. That was my all-time crowning achievement in the land of push-ups.

Anyways, I want to rock at ‘dropping and doing 50 20′, so I’ve started practicing in the mornings before work. This morning, I could do four, which was twice as many as 3 days ago.

Baby steps, baby steps.

When bragging about my two push-up achievement last week, my colleague Susannah mentioned something about girl push-ups being better for women because, apparently, doing ‘man’ push-ups damages the womb. SAY WHAAAAAT? It turns out that was some urban fitness myth that’s been floating around the UK for a while.

My womb is safe.phew.

As far as Me vs. Gym, I’m pleased to say that ME has been the glorious victor since my last post. The gym is getting tired of seeing my red, sweaty face. Last week, my gym goal was 4 times…which I did. Last week, my gym goal was four times, which I BEAT.

I went to the gym 4 times + I went for a run on Saturday and cycled a total of 2 hours…which, on my sweet ride, is actually a pleasure:

Here's my baby

I also replaced my Asics, which was long over-due. For the last few months, my feet have been hurting after 30 minutes of cardio…not a good sign. Anyways, I ended up getting a pair of Sauconys:

New kicks

And the great thing is that now that I have changed my running technique…running on the balls of my feet rather than my heels (a technique that alleviates shin-splint pain), I no longer over-pronate. They filmed me running at the store, both on my heels and on the balls of my feet, and the difference was rather extreme. Good to know that I’m no longer limited to super-reinforced (and heavy) running shoes. Freedom! Anyways, the Sauconys are fabulous and they’re actually wider across the top of the foot than Asics.

As far as my other goals are…I’m happy to say that I’ve not had a drop of alcohol in a couple weeks and I’ve been eating extremely healthy. I haven’t touched the junk table at work, and even brought in shortbread cookies for the team yesterday, and I didn’t eat one.

I have lost just over one kilo since my last post, not too shabby.

I’m actually saving up my calorie-splurge for the hillbilly birthday party we’re having this weekend. I need to figure out how to make cigarette butts out of fondant to top my cupcakes.

My next post will be about the party, be prepared!